Self-Care During Seasons of Scary Times – When It’s Your Health – Part 3 (Continued) What I did

Here’s what I did


The Artist's Way - The book that started my journaling journey!

The Artist’s Way – The book that started my journaling journey!

  1. I started to read empowering books and magazines. (This was long before any electronic readers were available. Coaches, especially Mindset Coaches, were very rare and not in my immediate SOI – Sphere of Influence.
  2. I came across Julia Cameron’s book, The Artists Way. It talked about journaling and doing “Morning Pages.” This worked for me. I started to be more optimistic. I was “dumping” the negative thoughts and worries onto a hand-written page. After about a week of this I couldn’t handle the negative writing and started writing about how I wanted to be well, walk again, and be able to do all the activities I loved.
  3. I had learned about Feng Shui about 10 years before. In Feng Shui we learned about the interconnectedness of the home and the body. Since the diagnosis was unknown, all I could do was look at what had been visible – in and on my body – and what my symptoms were.
    • The rash was on the skin and the skin is the outside of the house. I knew the paint on my house was peeling in places. I had someone come and fix it.

      Area where the sheetrock was torn because the doorframe had been removed to move the washer & dryer out of the laundry room.

      Area where the sheetrock was torn because the doorframe had been removed to move the washer & dryer out of the laundry room.

    • My knees wouldn’t bend. Those are the “joints.” I had someone fix the joints where the sheetrock seams were located, which had been broken when the previous owner tore out the door in order to remove the washer and dryer from the laundry room. (The reason those joints had not been fixed before I bought the house was because I had bought the home “as is” out of desperation during the divorce.)
    • I continued the process by changing my thoughts from “symptoms” and “poor me” to my desired outcomes! I saw myself wearing beautiful shoes again and having the ability to dress up, go out of the house, and enjoy the beauty of life. I wanted to see the sunlight from outside, to wear bright colors, and dance. Then in my mind’s eye I saw a stained-glass window with all the colors of the rainbow. I saw where it had to go in the house.

      Before photo of living room when we started the remodeling. - Living room sheet rock removal 4-27-05

      Before photo of living room when we started the remodeling. – Living room sheet rock removal 4-27-05

    • From that point on my mind was on a creative journey. I wrote daily about visions I saw for the house. The visions looked at every part of the home, finding what was wrong or broken or didn’t work for me. These visions included ways to change it, making it beautiful.

Years before I was guided to name my company, A Beautiful Center of Light. During this time the real birthing of my company into a material form occurred. This process showed all the things I needed to change in my home and what to do.

I didn’t know how I was going to pay for any of the work. I didn’t know how this was going to heal my body.

But… the process healed my body! And the money came to do the work on the house.

The multi-colored stained-glass window placed in the living room where I saw it in my Mind's Eye years before!

The multi-colored stained-glass window placed in the living room where I saw it in my Mind’s Eye years before!

They still don’t know what I had or what caused my illness. It really doesn’t matter now. What does matter is I learned how our home is an extension of us. We are connected to it and it to us.

I continued to journal for many years and then stopped. When I went back to reading my journals, I decided I wasn’t going to do any more writing like that. It was so negative and depressing. I tossed the journals because I never wanted anyone to see how far down the dark hole I had gone. They contained an energy I needed to release from my body at that time, not keep to remember or share.

Multi-colored Stained glass window

Closeup – Multi-colored Stained glass window

Journaling has helped many people and may be exactly what you need and want to do. It definitely did help me. But the journals themselves were not something I wanted to keep in my space once I was healed.

If you’d like to learn more about the connection between our body and our home, I’ve written an eBook on this called, HOME: A Reflection of SELF! Check my website for a free copy of it or contact me to receive it.

I think you will find the information fascinating and helpful!

Self-Care During Seasons of Scary Times – When It’s Your Health – Part 3

Navigating your own health challenges can be one of the scariest seasons.

Baked sweets containing sugar contributed to my many health issues.

Baked sweets containing sugar contributed to my many health issues.

This might be for a few reasons: 1. It often commands we address how we might have contributed to the cause of the health issues, 2. It brings up any issues we have regarding independence, and 3. It sometimes makes us confront our own mortality.


An example of #1 –

As a child, I was sick most of the time. As I’ve gotten older – and wiser – I’ve discovered I am highly allergic to sugar. My mom was always baking cookies, pies, cakes, etc., that I loved to eat! They all contained massive amounts of sugar. My body reacted with sore throats, sinus infections, and pneumonia.


At the time I didn’t know any better. Through trial and error I discovered this allergy. Now I stay away from those sweets knowing what the result will be.

Fear of loosing independence

Fear of loosing independence


An example of # 2 –

About a year before my mother died, I became aware she couldn’t balance her checkbook. Then she couldn’t find things and forgot whether she had eaten or not. I had to find what was called a nursing home at that time. Although she couldn’t remember many things, she knew she was being moved from her home. Many seniors have this fear about loosing their independence.


An example of #3 –

Often an illness will occur for which there is no known logical reason. How should a person handle those situations? The answer: It depends! It depends on many things.


Let me share how I coped with one of mine.


Water-Babies & Moon-Faces


One morning I noticed a few red patches around both my elbows. The next day they had spread, plus there were now the same type of red rash around my knees. The following day it had spread to most of my arms and legs. I got an appointment to see my doctor, a gynecologist, the next day. When I awakened, I was having trouble moving and could barely walk.

Prednisone induced Moon Face

Prednisone induced Moon Face


When she saw me, she immediately asked the neighboring dermatologist to fit me in. Biopsies were taken without any answers. By the time they got the results back (which had no conclusive answers), I couldn’t walk and was told I probably would never walk again!


Massive doses of prednisone were prescribed and taken. Slowly I was able to move a little. I started doing water exercises. I lasted 3 visits, then quit!


The reason wasn’t that I couldn’t do it. It was I couldn’t handle being in that environment!!!


Every one of the people in the group were unbelievably negative. They joked about “moon-faces” because the prednisone caused our faces to be big, fat, and round looking, like the moon. They only talked about how horrible they felt and how they felt more worse as time went on. AND they were accepting and integrating into their lives the words they were using to describe themselves.


I couldn’t stand their depression and lack of optimism.


Tomorrow I will continue with what I did to support my own healing.

Self-Care During Seasons of Scary Times – A Loved Ones Health: Part 2 – For You

Get help - It takes a village

Get help – It takes a village

Now we’ll focus on a few things for you!

  1. Get help – lots of it! I was fortunate to have my daughter & son-in-love living with us at the time. We all had our chores or ways we helped. My son did the yard and cooking. My daughter took care of Hilory’s business and the house. I did my business and took Hilory to appointments. It takes a “village” to take care of someone just like it takes a “village to raise a child!” Create your tribe or village!



  1. Find something you love and are passionate about that you can do during this time. This ONE THING I think saved me physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in this situation.

I needed to create handouts for an interior design class I was teaching. What happened after about the 7th day was mind-blowing! I realized I needed to write a book. I allowed spirit to take over and I was its muse. Words poured out of me easily. The handouts became the book, The Gift of the Red Envelope. I wrote for all but 2 days of the 42 days of radiation (I took Good Friday and Easter off).

Think positive thoughts!

Think positive thoughts!



3. I was so connected to spirit I couldn’t have a negative thought!

This is one of the most important things I can share with you!!!

Only be around positive people! People who believe miracle happen! People who hold good thoughts!


That’s when I learned, “We can’t afford the luxury of any negative thoughts!” That’s when I realized I had followed the plan that was set in motion for me to provide me with the SELFCARE TOOLS I needed to make it through this horrific time.

These were SCARY TIMES! I had numerous “talks” with my Creator on many levels. My emotions were all over the map – from anger, begging, fear, to hope, etc.

  1. My question to you would be –

    Follow Your Soul! It knows

    Follow Your Soul! It knows

If you are in the mist of scary times, what could you give all your energy and focus – to give your body, mind, and spirit – to create?

I think that is one of the greatest SELFCARE tools you can have.

  1. Another tip –

Help them find a dream 20 years out to focus on where you both are doing something together! It could be seeing a child (or grandchild) graduate or get married. It might be traveling on a long-desired vacation. Maybe it’s buying a dream home, car, or airplane.

If they can get deeply emotionally attached to the dream or desire, their brain starts figuring out how they are going to be able to do it, shifting any negative thoughts.

  1. Use Feng Shui. Find the corresponding location of the health issue in the home.



I’ve often felt helpless during a loved ones’ health challenge. It can be devastating. I’ve found if I change or clean up an area of the house that correlates to the affected area of the person’s body, it shifts the energy for me, the person, and the home.

For instance, with Hilory and his throat cancer, I cleared the boxes that were blocking the hallway because the hallway is associated with the “throat” of the home.

I’ve written an eBook on this called, HOME: A Reflection of SELF! Check my website for a free copy of it.

A few examples are: 1) the doors represent the mouth, and the windows represent the eyes, 2) bone issues could be the wood studs or framing of the home, 3) even the various systems like heating and plumbing represent things like our arteries and lungs.

Change it, fix it, beautify it! Find something that needs to be done with the home in the associated area of the body. In the process, you’ll shift any negative energy in the person’s body while improving your home’s energy.

#SelfCare #Self-care #BodyMindSpiritHealth #HealBodyMindSpirit #TheHealingDesigner

Self-Care During Seasons of Scary Times – A Loved Ones Health: Part 1 – For Them

Let Your Light Shine (Candle), Be Grounded (Stones). Grow Gently and Bloom with the Journey (Leaves & Flower)

Let Your Light Shine (Candle), Be Grounded (Stones). Grow Gently and Bloom with the Journey (Leaves & Flower)

What is Self-Care? For each person and their situation, it can be something different.


Self-Care seems to be the new buzz word, yet women have known what they need to do intuitively. The challenge has always been, will we take the time and do the steps to take care of ourselves.


In our day-to-day life women have many roles and responsibilities. Throw in something unforeseen, especially something dealing with our health or the health of a loved one, and it can throw our lives out of balance. For many it’s hard to step out of the “caregiver” role and into self-care mode, at least it has been hard for me.


But let me share a few examples from my life in these next few posts. In some cases, I discovered I had done exactly what I needed to do “after the fact.” In others, it was somewhat planned. There are many tips for all parts of your life in these stories!


Over 25 years ago my now husband, Hilory, (then newly living together significant other) was told he had base-of-tongue cancer. (The doctor told me he had less than 2 months to live.)


Praying Groups Work!

Praying Groups Work!

First, I fired the doctor! Any healthcare provider who tells me a doom-and-gloom diagnosis is fired. I want a provider with a positive outlook on results and life. They need to say something like, “I’m going to do everything I can to help you get better!”


Second, I contacted everyone I knew who had a prayer group and/or did healing energy work. I got Hilory on every prayer & healing list and connected to every person I knew who did energy healing.


Hearing Bad News

Hearing Bad News

A person going through a health challenge is only going to hear a fraction of the information any doctor or healthcare provider says. They are going to be in a state of shock, not ask questions, and sometimes be in denial. It’s best to be with them through it all. AND I do mean BE WITH THEM! Don’t take any excuse by the provider for not being with them 100% of the time.


I say that because at one of Hilory’s first appointments for the radiation he was strapped to the table, the developing machine didn’t work, the attendant left to go to a different building, and he was there by himself for 30 minutes – strapped down unable to move!!! He was so distraught he wasn’t going to go back. It took a hypnotherapist to reprogram his brain to have him feel comfortable and confident enough to continue.


From that point on, I told the doctor I was going to be in the room and would leave when the technicians left! Be assertive! Be obnoxious if you have to be! Be there for – and with – them!!!


These may not seem like they are “selfcare” for you, but they are. When you know you are doing your best – giving your all – you will sleep better at night.


Next post we’ll focus on a few things for you!

Self-Care During Seasons of Scary Times – Beginning

Sometimes I am in a fog as to how I should handle something. I can't see in front of me the steps I need to take.

Sometimes I am in a fog as to how I should handle something. I can’t see in front of me the steps I need to take.

Scary times happen in our lives. How are we supposed to include “self-care” during those times?


Scary times can include an unexpected financial expense. Maybe the loss of a job throws you into stress and scare: “How can I make it through this?” or “What next is going to happen?” Often a health issue, yours or a loved one, changes life forever.


I wish I could say I don’t know about these times, but I have. Most people I know have had these situations.


I’m going through one now. I realized I have tools to cope, yet I had forgotten them for several days at the beginning of this event.


It was then I decided to go through memories of “Scary Times” searching for tools. I gently removed protective layers the years have built to find and excavate what I’d used.

Reflecting on life, all the ripples in it, sometimes it is hard to see the reflection or the Light guiding us.

Reflecting on life, all the ripples in it, sometimes it is hard to see the reflection or the Light guiding us.


What worked in each situation? Were there common threads? Who were the people I relied upon? Who undermined me and my energy? What tidbits of knowledge did I learn? Did I use that knowledge sometimes and ignore it at other times? If I ignored it, was that a good thing or bad thing? When did I feel most empowered? Where did I go, if anyplace, to find quiet time to think – and feel – the emotions?



In disseminating this information, what protocol could I create for this scary time? How could I weave the information together to create a SafetyNet or warm, fuzzy blanket to comfort me through this journey?


And just what is self-care? Am I being selfish to think about ME during this time? Or is this exactly what my life path has taught me – that the only way I can truly help someone else is if I do take care of me with whatever “self-care” tools I have, whether longtime standbys or newly discovered.


Hence this series of articles has surfaced. It’s an archaeologically dig of my life. I am remembering memories buried deep within my mind. I’m feeling emotions I thought were healed. They aren’t, but they aren’t as painful. In fact, in many cases there is no attachment to them, just the vague memory of a time long ago.


My Feng Shui training has given me many tools to use. The masters I’ve had contributed to an awareness of energy and how to use it – and to use it ONLY FOR GOOD!


We should never interfere with another’s life. Words are powerful. “In the beginning was the Word!” Understanding I am one with the Universe – the One Mind – connects the energy fields. My hope is to raise my vibration – and yours – to a higher-level using words while sharing these stories of how I’ve navigated scary times.

Grey Feng Shui = Bad Feng Shui

For almost a decade grey has been a “go to” color trend creating a host of less than desirable energy – unless you are selling your house.

Charcoal grey kitchen

Charcoal grey kitchen

Then it might be just what you want since a recent Zillow survey states it might actually increase the sale price of your home. Let me explain more why you don’t want to use it.

One of the ways we create grey is by mixing black and white together. In Feng Shui, black equates to water and white equates to metal. Mixed together, they make grey; mixed together the elements of water will rust metal thus reducing the vitality of the space.

Every color has a vibration. Depending on what you want in your life, you may want to either paint specific colors or bring in area rugs or throw pillows with those colors to enhance the energy of your space.

For instance, if you want more energy, red is a great color. If you want more soothing energy, light blues might be a better choice.

Seafood green bedroom

Seafood green bedroom

Need a spark of creativity, yellow and orange are great stimulator colors. Green, especially in the sea foam or light moss range, gives a room the feeling it is connected to nature and is a restful color.

Paint is a rather low cost way to give your home a vibrational lift, yet it can also be more permanent than the addition of a rug or pillows. I’m a DIYer, so I do my own painting, but that’s not for everyone. Furniture needs to be moved; trim needs to be taped; flaws in the walls need to be fixed. Maybe changing out the drapes would be a quicker and easier way to jazz up the place to see if you even like the color long term.

As an additional note, all white rooms are out. The addition of bright colors to a white room is in. Also, adding wood in warm hues brings a nice contrast and earthiness to otherwise bland rooms.

Those are some current thoughts on ousting grey from the color choices and taking a risk on some tried and true design tips with color splashes!

As far as Feng Shui is concerned, most of the common sense parts of Feng Shui relate to the science of Color Psychology. This is a science I have studied for nearly 40 years starting in my early days in design school.